BIRTHDAY

Mellowed beauty fans the sky
I awake to another day
And linger awhile in this silent dawn
Sighing, crying this third of May.

And yet despite this pain so deep
Yearning, longing, tearing grief
My soul finds peace as 1 watch the sky
Colour slowly with God's sunrise.

Another year, how long ago
1 awoke to such another day
And knew that life within me stirred
To be born on that third of May.

Is it so long those eighteen years
That now seem like yesterday
And what if I'd known the child 1 bore
Was to go before my final score
And leave me as her bloom of youth
Enhanced my life with its fresh young fruit.

Would 1 have wished she not be born
To spare me pain, this grief forlorn
Or would 1 have cried through the mist of life
Give her God,
Give her life.

1 watch the sun now climb the sky
And despite my grief, a tearing sigh
My heart is rent with a love so deep
1 pray my child in death's sweet sleep.

I thank you God for the seventeen years
1 mothered my child through joy and tears
And as her birthdays come and go
I'll ponder the reasons You only know
Why the child 1 bore the third of May
Is not still here as yesterday

I'll watch the sun as it climbs the sky
And known she's born as your sunrise
To dwell with you, new life begun
Radiant as the new day sun.

The years will pass
Yet she'll not grow old
For the promise is there as Jesus told
And the child 1 bore on the third of May
Will await me yet another day.


                    © Helen Catherine Cramer
                  3rd May 1982